Talking Heads
February, 2005
For the past seven years--that’s SEVEN years--Professor
Plum has been suggesting to his colleagues that we hire at least one--that’s
ONE--perfesser (out of about eight “Language and
Literacy" perfessers) who can teach our ed
students how to teach beginning reading in a systematic, explicit, direct, and
comprehensive way, as REQUIRED by our state’s very own laws and standard course
of study. Here, for example, is a segment of state law, passed around 1998…
The State Board of Education
shall critically evaluate and revise the standard course of study so as to
provide school units with guidance in the implementation of balanced,
integrated, and effective programs of reading instruction. The General Assembly
believes that the first, essential step in the complex process of learning to
read is the accurate pronunciation of written words and that phonics, which
is the knowledge of relationships of the symbols of the written language and
the sounds of the spoken language, is the most reliable approach to arriving at
the accurate pronunciation of a printed word. Therefore, these programs shall
include early and systematic phonics instruction.
As hinted in the law, above, the state standard course of
study was revised, thus…
The curriculum for young
children in (our state’s) schools is based on the research as presented
in Appendix A. Research has shown that children learn the foundation skills
that enable them to become independent readers through direct instruction of
decoding and comprehension skills and...
Way back when, Professor Plum tried to make the case, in
a calm and friendly way, in emails to the whole faculty, to department chairs,
and to the higher administrators.
“I have been told by our own students that they do not
know how to teach reading.” [No response. Nothing]
[The next year.]
“I have been told by teachers, principals, and even district directors of
elementary ed that they are VERY unhappy that our graduates do not know how to
teach reading.” [More of the nothing motif]
[The next year]
“I have been told by teachers, principals, and the same district directors of
elementary ed that they are sick and tired that they have to teach our
graduates how to teach reading. They say it is OUR job to do that.” [No
response]
[The next year.]
“I hate to say this, but our 100% whole language teacher training curriculum is
not in line with the preponderance of research, with the reform of reading
instruction at the federal and state level, and even with the way reading is
taught in the districts where our graduates get jobs. The schools around here
almost all use direct instruction curricula, and no one uses Reading Recovery.
One superintendent said, “Why should we spend 500,000 dollars on Reading
Recovery each year, when it doesn’t work?” I told her, “I don’t know.” [Whole
language colleagues publicly blamed ME for districts dropping Reading Recovery.
Ha! Also Ha Ha. They also
started rumors that I was “making teachers use direct instruction.” Ha, again.
Schools came to ME (well, not the actual schools) asking for help introducing
DI.]
[The next year.]
I prepared and handed out packets of materials (what else, packets of IDEAS?)
describing DI, presenting data from the surrounding districts showing increased
student achievement, and articles on recent reading research discussing
systematic and explicit instruction. I prepared reading syllabi that we could
use in revising courses. [No response. Not even acknowledgement that I sent the
stuff.]
[The next year.]
We had three openings for reading perfessers. I
almost pleaded with the faculty to hire ONE di
person. Result? They hired two more whole language perfessers.
When they were about to hire a third, I wrote a letter to the faculty saying
that the situation was analogous to having a loaded .357 magnum in our
collective mouth. [Nice revolver, huh? My first. Barrel's a bit long for concealed
carry. People say, "You got a gat in your pants or are you happy to
see me?" I say, "It could be one thing or it could be
another. Who can tell in these postmodern times?"]
“Hire another
whole language professor at a time when the state is advocating direct
instruction of reading, and it would be like pulling the trigger. Are we really
THAT suicidal?” [No response except criticism for “an offensive letter.” Of
course, organizational suicide and mistraining our
graduates is NOT offensive.]
[The next year.]
And then I reported that I had been told TWICE by administrators in one nearby
county that “principals say they would not hire our graduates if they had a
choice, because our graduates can’t teach reading.” I also passed on the
info that even the feds think we have the worst reading program in the state.
And I reported that the head of Reading First for the state told me that our ed school had “very little role to play in professional
development in the state” because we were 100% whole language. [No response.]
*********************************************************
The ONLY change in our reading program over the years is
the DESCRIPTION. It says we teach our ed students how
to teach all of the main reading skills in a way that is consistent with the
research. This is how we USED to pass inspections. It’s called lying.
Recently the dean had a meeting with perfessers
who teach reading. I was there as the token person with a brain. She said that
we have to “increase our web presence in reading” and “our program has to
reflect changes in the state.” I thought, “Oh boy, maybe things will change!”
[What an ass!] One perfesser, who is so opposed to
explicit phonics instruction that it is pathological (perhaps someone took away
his all day sucker when he was a child and he has not gotten over it), said,
“It shouldn’t be hard to change the language of our description and put that on
our website.” [I believe this is called fraud.] The rest of the reading perfessers saw NOTHING odd about this, as if they were
thinking, “Well, of course! Just change the words. Say ‘explicit’ a lot.”
Just yesterday, the reading faculty sent around a message
advertising a candidate for yet another reading position. Here’s what it said.
Dr. Tinkertytonk [not the real name] received her
doctorate at
So, I wrote an email to the whole faculty…being careful not to
suggest that the search committee were idiots for selecting a person with no
qualifications whatever.
Dr. Tinkertytonk’s vita suggests that she knows absolutely
nothing about the five main reading skills; how to teach each one
systematically, explicitly and directly (as required by our very own standard
course of study which goes into effect in August); how to use screening,
diagnostic, progress, and outcome assessments that are quantitative and
standardized; how to select well-designed core, supplementary, and intervention
programs (as will be required of reading teachers beginning in August).
But that's
okay. The schools are happy to teach our graduates how to teach
reading. Just ask them. [No response.]
But that may be because everyone was hustling and
bustling preparing for our huge gala open house that was to start in a few
hours. The whole language perfessers were busy
adjusting their multi-colored fright wigs to get that “just right” psychotic
look. The multi-culti educators were gluing tacos and
yams to their pants, to suggest celebrating diversity. The early childhood
educators were practicing saying “goo goo gah gah
ha ha” to demonstrate the importance of speaking to
toddlers in a “developmentally appropriate” way.
And I was saying to myself…
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it
ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
[Talking Heads. Once in a Lifetime, 1984]